Okay, okay, okay, I’m starting to believe in myself a little bit.
But don’t worry, self-doubt, there’s reason for me to still doubt a bit!
But today felt really good.
FIRST of all, four laps. Not the first time I’ve done four laps, but this felt sustainable. I may not be able to every day, but still, this feels sustainable.
SECOND of all, I don’t think the video shows it as well as it felt in real life, but I was walking AT a decent pace. As in walking not as quite as fast as I used to - as I was a fast walker - but as fast as I have walked with the walker, and a pace that would not be unreasonable on a sidewalk.
Now, for the potential “bad” news. Which is not really all that bad. Because I’d had to miss some dialysis sessions over the past month and a half or so, I’ve struggled to get enough fluid taken off me to get back down to my “dry” weight - the weight we think my body actually is, so they try to remove fluid to get me down to that weight. So I’ve been carrying some fluid on me for a while, which probably increases my fatigue.
So the “bad news” is that basically that may be a big reason for today’s performance, meaning I don’t see much improvement beyond this level for a while.
But walking this distance, and feeling this secure on my feet means one of the next things I want to do is experiment with a cane, as well as see if I can get the wheelchair in the car by myself. If I can do those things, I may be in a situation where I can drive again, and where I can try working on stairs next. And slopes. Both of which are impossible and terrifying right now.
So today feels REALLY good. But I need to keep posting this - I need to keep walking every day so I make sure I don’t lose whatever progress I’ve made.