I thought I would take a moment and write up a bit about my medical history. This is primarily related to my walking videos — how did I get here?
Teenage years
From the time I can remember, I weighed around 325lbs. I don’t know how old I was when I got to that weight, I just don’t remember weighing less. By the time of my late teens, that’s where I was.
This was in the 80s, and the Big Deal™ back then was fat. My mom was overweight, and both of us tried any number of fad diets. I remember one where you were supposed to pick one thing and eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner until you got so sick of it you never wanted to eat it again. I grew up on “healthy” cereals like Grape Nuts, bran flakes, unsweetened “adult” cereals - except I occasionally got Lucky Charms.
So I picked Count Chocula. And I ate it three meals per day. We did that for something like a couple of weeks before my mother gave up on the diet. I was still happily eating the cereal. None of the other diets we tried helped. I was always always hungry. It was attributed to being a growing boy.
When I was 15, I got my first job in fast food. I worked at Church’s Fried Chicken, Domino’s, McDonald’s basically for the following five years. I worked long hours on my feet. For almost a year of that, I was working at McDonald’s and Domino’s at the same time, both fulltime. I’d basically wake up most days at 4am to get to McDonald’s around 5am, work until around 2pm, go home for a nap, then go into Domino’s at 5pm and work anywhere from midnight to 2am, then go home for a nap. My days off were different so most days I got enough sleep, but for a couple of those days, I really did just get a nap between each.
Early Adulthood
When I was 20, I got a job in customer service, then jobs in tech support and helpdesk and other similar entry-level technical jobs. Office jobs, sitting down all day.
I had started to eat more when I was working fast food - still around 325lbs, so I was working harder and eating more. But when I got the office jobs, I didn’t eat less, just was sitting down more. Over the next few years, I slowly put on weight and got up to around 385lbs.
I was struggling to keep jobs. I didn’t know why yet, just that I had all sorts of problems. I also had trouble finding work other than tech support and customer service, but I was figuring out that I hated telephone work. I remember around 2003 getting hired at Verizon because I couldn’t find anything else. Went through the training, got out on the floor. The training was so minimal that I was so very lost… after a couple of weeks, I just could not convince myself to go to work, so I didn’t and quit.
In 2004, my wife’s parents were both struggling with cancer, and we moved to Pamana City, FL to help them out. Alas, we ended up inheriting the house not long thereafter.
I struggled to find and keep jobs. I did a number of things - worked for a sign company, delivered flowers, whatever. I was more often unemployed than employed.
2007-2008
In 2007, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I was paying $75 cash every visit to the clinic. They put me on metformin, which didn’t do anything noticable to my constant high glucose. They increased the dose, which again didn’t make any discernable difference. Then they said, “Well, I’m sorry, but that is what you can afford.”
So I figured I was just screwed.
Education wasn’t so good - at least, not there, and not for me. I knew to cut sugar out of my diet. But I didn’t learn about carbs. Thanks to being poor, we lived on carbs, because that’s what you do - rice, bread, pasta, potatoes, etc. That’s the cheap stuff.
Over time, my weight went from 385lbs back down to around 325lbs. So I really did change my eating habits. I was just poor.
In 2008, I was diagnosed with ADHD. I got Ritalin, and that was amazing. But I couldn’t afford to stay on it. So I went back to struggling, but I tried college again (I had tried two times before and had given up).
In 2009, I got to do an internship in Seattle, Washington, which was great. Also, in 2009, I had my 15 minutes of fame. lol.
In 2010, we had financial difficulties (IRS made a mistake we were unable to fix and so claimed we owed them $14,000 that we did not, but we couldn’t prove it, so I ended up losing my scholarships and being able to get money for college).
I continued to struggle with work. Had my own company for a while, never was successful.
2017
My health was slowly going down over the years. I had less and less energy, and struggled more and more. I’d tried walking before, several times, walking daily or every other day, 2-3 miles. I never saw any improvement, although in hindsight I’m wondering that perhaps if anything it helped stave off my health getting even worse. But who knows.
One day in particular, we had a show that was opening in two days - we were in tech week for a theatrical show - that I had designed sound for, but I wasn’t running the sound because I was in the show as an actor. I had the show set up on my laptop, but they’d had some troubles with it the night before, so I had my wife’s laptop and had installed it on there as well.
It was July, and very hot.
On the way to the theatre, I stopped at McDonald’s a got a McChicken and an unsweet iced tea. I ate the sandwich on the way, but I was sort of saving the iced tea for when I got to the theatre. I know it sounds silly, but I envisioned myself walking into the air conditioning, sitting down in a comfy chair, and enjoying that cold iced tea while resting up to rehearse the show.
Got to the parking lot and parked. Got out the laptops and slung them over my shoulder. Was thinking - man, it really really is hot out here today. These laptops are heavy.
I saw one of my castmates walking in. We’d had words in the previous rehearsal - I hadn’t been feeling well and was sitting down taking a break from working and he needed to sweep where I was, and I was a bit short with him and he was a bit short with me. So I saw him and called out something to him - something that sounded rude for a moment, but he quickly realized it was a reference to a line from the show and grinned (as I’d intended). But as he was a little bit away, I’d had to basically shout it at him, and I thought - man, it is HOT out here today - raising my voice just took it out of me.
So I started walking the maybe 40 feet to the door. Again, thinking, wow, it’s hot out here, these laptops are heavy. I noticed there was a car parked next to the door. I started to think as I was walking toward it - man, it is so damn hot, I might have to pause a moment at that car to catch my breath.
As I was getting closer to the car, I thought - I don’t know, I might have to lean up against that car for a moment to catch my breath.
Time started getting slower.
I started to think - I’m not sure I’m going to make it to that car.
I’m not sure I’m going to make it another step.
What the hell is going on?
Time really started to slow down, and my adrenaline kicked off - WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? Am I dying? Is this it? Is this the end?
And I started to collapse.
As I started to collapse, the adrenaline amped up and my hands clenched and I crushed the iced tea I was carrying in.
And so, as I started to fall down, all I could think was:
- Am I dying?
- Is this it?
- Is this all I get?
- DAMMIT, I WANTED THAT ICED TEA.
- What?
- So wait, are my last thoughts going to be “Am I dying” and “Damn, I wanted that iced tea?” …REALLY???
And then I proceeded to finish falling and fainted.
…
After a while, I started to come around. I slowly began to become aware, and to be aware that I was still around to be aware. I had no vision - it’s not that things were black, it was really weird. It’s that my brain was not taking any input from my eyes. If there was a colour, it was sort of greyish, but it was not a colour, it was not vision. Not like when you close your eyes. It was super weird.
As I was thinking about that, and slowly becomine aware of myself, I also realized the thoughts I’d had while fainting about the tea and was a little amused, but mostly thinking about the fact that I wasn’t - yet - dead.
After some time - which I have no clue how long - my body sort of indicated to me that it thought it would like to let out a moan, perhaps out of fear, or just generally testing the waters for what functionality we had at that time. The part of my brain that was thinking thought this wasn’t a bad idea, so I sort of decided to moan, and sort of decided to let my body moan, if that makes sense. So I moaned.
No response. So I knew there wasn’t anyone around.
After some more time had passed, and I was starting to get some vision - light, at least, though not any shapes, just areas of relative light and dark - I heard someone call out: “Isaac? Isaac, are you okay?”
Now, I’ve never been one to seek attention, nor have I been one to seek medical help unless it was truly needed. My philosophy has always been when I get a cold or the flu - I might take aspirin and have chicken soup, but I sleep. That’s how I get well. And for the most part, I have never asked anyone to do things for me. I get my own coffee, I make my own lunch. I’ve always been independent.
So when I heard someone asking me if I was alright, I thought for a moment, and said, “No.”
And when I said that, because they knew me, they knew something was seriously wrong. They said they were going to get help and would be right back.
And indeed, they were. The cast came out and brought a chair out. By this time I was starting to regain my vision, and I managed to get into the chair. Damp from the iced tea, I might add, only because I was will bitter about that.
My wife arrived and came over to check on me. “Do you, maybe, wannt go get checked out?” And I said, “Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.” so she was already worried. Then, when I got into the passenger side of the car, she REALLY worried - because she doesn’t like driving, so anytime we went anywhere, I drove because I like it. So she knew things were wrong. lol
So we went to the ER - which was a satellite ER on the beach. See, Panama City is divided into two parts - the City of Panama City is on the eastern side of the St. Andrews Bay, and the City of Panama City Beach is on the west side. The two hospitals are in town.
Now, for a while, Panama City was the preferred spring break destination. The way we would know spring break was truly underway each year was literally the first of many news reports of someone getting drunk and falling off a hotel balcony.
So one of the hospitals built a satellite ER on the beach because it was 30+ minutes into town.
We got to the ER, checked in, they started doing tests. Got hooked up to the monitors and my pulse was something like 160 - with the high pulse alarm going off constantly.
Got X-rays, a CT scasn, they did various things to try and get my pulse down.
Then, after I got back from the CT scan, about eight staff walked into the rom, with one hanging out by the door. They were pushing a cart into the room.
My wife, sitting over in the corner, had had some medical training because we worked with adults with developmental and cognitive disabilities, and you get a little basic training along with that. So she saw it was a crash cart and put on a smile and kept mum so I wouldn’t realize what it was.
Then looked at me, remembering I also had had the training, and I also was watching them push the crash cart in.
They pulled off the paddles and lubed them up and sat them on my chest. Meanwhile, the nurse at the door said, “Sooooo, we’re gonna give you something called ‘adenosine’. It’s going to slow your heart down and hopefully get it back to normal. Six units at first, and if that doesn’t fix it, we’ll give you 12 units.”
So they leaned me back so my feet were above my head, and pushed the 6 units. Soon as they did, I felt very very… heavy. If you have your blood pressure taken, the part of your arm below the cuff feels kinda heavy when they squeeze? My entire body felt like that. It was marked unpleasant. So that kicked in and the pulse count started to drop…
160…
140…
120…
The “high pulse” alarm stopped going off…
100…
80…
60…
50…
40…
The “low pulse” alarm went off…
30…
…
…
40…
60…
80…
100…
120…
The “high pulse” alarm came back on…
140…
160…
Bleh.
So after a couple of minutes, they said, “Alright, we’re gonna push the 12 units now.”
160…
140…
120…
The “high pulse” alarm stopped going off…
100…
80…
60…
50…
40…
The “low pulse” alarm went off…
30…
20…
15…
…
…
20…
40…
60…
Thankfully, this time, it stopped off around normal.
Then, a few minutes later, they said I had a saddle pumlonary embolism and were starting me on something called TPA. Basically, I had large blood clots sitting on top of my lungs that could break apart at any time and clog my heart, causing it to stop. Permanently.
The TPA stuff was a very strong blood thinner, to break up the clotting so it wouldn’t move to my heart and kill me.
They wanted to transport me from the satellite ER to the main hospital. I got to go via ambulance with lights (although not sirens because it was late by that point). They sent an RN with me (who said, “Oooh, awesome! This is the first time I get to go!” because the thing about TPA is - if you get even a scratch and bleed at all, you will not stop bleeding. It is a problem. So we had to be ultra careful.
But anyway, made it to the hospital. They kept me for ten days and I was basically fine after that.
The Move
After all that, I said - look, I have to get work. I have to get health insurance, or I am going to die. And while we were afraid of losing the house, my wife agreed. I started looking for work - first in Florida, then nationally.
I got a job in Virginia Beach, VA. I moved up in July 2018, and she moved in August. I started to try and get my diabetes under control.
And in 2018, Category 5 Hurricane Michael hit our house.
When we moved, we drove our two cars up here with whatever would fit, which wasn’t much. We’d planned to go back with a truck when we could. After the hurricane, we weren’t able to get back at all. The roof leaked, and so a few months later we ended up selling the house for the price of the land, which wasn’t a whole hell of a lot, let me tell you.
But anyway.
In 2019, over the course of a few days, my shoulder started hurting. I couldn’t find a comfortable way to lay in bed. It got worse and after a couple of weeks, I ended up going to the ER. Found out I was having a heart attack.
They put in two stents, but couldn’t put them where they wanted because the veins were too small. So they said my only hope was “diet and exercise.” Which I tried to do.
I managed to get my diabetes under control.
While I was struggling with that, I lost that first job, but I got another, and I’ve been working there ever since.
2021
In 2021, I was walking to the bedroom. I happened to look down and notice I was treading on a plastic bottlecap. Pushed it away, checked for a wound, didn’t see one, and went on about my day.
Two weeks later, I appeared to have come down with a cold that wouldn’t go away. Looked down at my foot - as it happened, on the day before my birthday - and noticed a purple bulge on my foot. Where the bottlecap had been.
Oops.
Went to the ER.
I had an infection. They had to amputate my foot to right behind my toes. Happy birthday!
Seven months later, the wound was not healing. They had to do a revision surgery a couple of times in there, and I was going weekly to wound care, and had in-home care changing the bandages thrice weekly.
At one point, I developed infection in the bone and had to take IV antibiotics at home - every six hours I’d wake up, set up the IV, let it run the 20-30 mins, break it down, sterilize everything, then try to get to sleep. Thing is, when anything wakes me up, I can’t get right back to sleep. So most of the time I was awake 2-3-4 hours after that. so I’d get another 2-3 hours of sleep and have to do it again. I was exhausted and losing my mind.
Well, after around seven months of trying to heal the wound, the doctor said one week, “I’m not sure this is going to heal. We may have to amputate.” Thing is, if they amputate, if you want to walk again, the next place they can go is below the knee. So it was a big deal.
Next week I went in and he said, “Well… it’s maybe looking better. Let’s hold off.”
Next week I went in and he said, “Well… it’s not looking much better. We may have to amputate.”
Next week I went in and he said, “Well… it’s maybe looking better.”
After a few weeks of that, literally back and forth every damn week, I was like, “Look. I don’t want an amputation, but I can’t live like this, either.” So we decided to do thh amputation.
Amputation Recovery
After the amputation, I healed up and got my first prosthesis. I tried walking when it was healed enough, but it hurt badly. And I just didn’t have enough energy.
So I fell into a pattern of making an appointment with the prosthesis provider that would be 2-3 weeks or so out. I’d go, we’d have something to try to fix it - sometimes. I’d be able to walk while I was there, then get home, and be unable to walk, so I’d have to call up and make another followup appointment.
After a lot of that, I began to figure out how to sort of make things work, but also over time, my health was continuing a decline.
I had my diabetes under control, but thins were still catching up to me.
To try and make a long story short, my kidneys began to fail; and in fact, they completely failed around the beginning of 2024. Starting i February, I went on dialysis, and I do that three days per week.
I’ve also had a total now of six heart attacks - four STEMI and two NSTEMI.
For quite a long while, the kidneys made things where I just could not walk at all. I could barely transfer, and barely get out of bed each morning.
More recently, since dialysis… while I’m not “better” in any sense of that, I am “less bad” in some ways. Enough energy that I can start trying to walk again, at least.
And so I recently realized that I could start walking again. And then it was a matter of how to get myself to do it. I don’t have enough energy for it. I loathe standing up because it hurts and I’m sore and I’m tired.
So I knew the only way I could get myself to do it would be to post about it every day and hope that I get enogh people paying just enough attention to keep me going - so that I feel responsible enough for this that I MUST force myself to walk so I can force myself to post.
Every day.
Thank you
If you read this, thank you. If you are watching me walk, thank you.
I cannot thank you enough. My health depends on this, and I depend on your support.